Behind the Veil: A Little Sisterly Love
April 5, 2009 by admin
Filed under All Blogs, Behind the Veil
By Maheen Siddiqi
A comedian like Chris Rock is not someone I generally look up to for respectable social commentary but watching his Never Scared video struck a chord with me. A few of his words kept echoing and it got to the point where I couldn’t enjoy the rest of his performance. I went back to the scene that had caused my brooding mood.
“You would think women would rule the world, but they don’t, they don’t, you know why?” he asked. “Because women hate women.”
I thought about what he said for the rest of the night. Why do women hate women? Why are women so critical of each other?
I know that this does not ring true for all women but it does for many of us. The more I talked to others about this, the more I realized that many females have either been victims of or are mean girls. The media swamps us with examples of this. Shows like Gossip Girl, America’s Next Top Model and even a movie, appropriately named Mean Girls, follow the phenomenon of the competitiveness and downright rude behavior many females exhibit towards each other.
Alia Khan, a 26-year-old student at Cal Poly Pomona, found that this behavior did not get left behind at school. In fact, it followed her even to the workplace.
“It stems from insecurity, and some women never grow out of it,” said Khan, who is currently pursuing her teaching credentials. “Whether it’s good grades, getting invited to a party or a promotion, it’s just a fact that some women can’t seem to be happy for other women.”
Technology seems to have added another tool in the arsenal of mean girls and has taken this catty behavior to a whole different level.
Another female, who wished to remain anonymous, agrees, but for all the wrong reasons.
“Sometimes you just need a release from being so nice all the time and sometimes the best way to achieve that is to make fun of people online until they cry,” she said.
Social networking sites such as MySpace, Facebook and now Twitter have given these mean girls the ability to bully from a distance by instant messaging and texting and often with complete anonymity.
“It’s so easy to make a fake account and just vent how you really feel about that person and then just deactivate it once you get it off your chest,” she continued.
Khan believes that these girls simply lack confidence.
“When you’re secure and happy with yourself, you want other people to be happy too but if you are constantly insecure and unsatisfied, you are going to take that out on other people,” she said. “It just comes full circle and I think it happens more with women because women just tend to be more jealous than men.”
Khan agree that the societal approval of this behavior stem from the media.
“On reality TV shows, specifically my guilty pleasure, America’s Next Top Model, I’ve noticed [those] that rank the highest are the ones where women fight and compete the most and there’s more drama and tension between them,” Khan said. “I think this shows that there is an underlying encouragement in society for women to behave this way, it says, ‘it’s okay to act like this and we’ll glorify the one who comes out on top’.”
She considers this to be disturbing behavior that requires more awareness among women. “Sometimes we don’t even realize we are acting this way,” she said.
From a BTV perspective, I have often observed many girls who wear the hijab looking down at or avoiding girls who choose not to wear a veil. However, I have also seen non-hijab wearing girls shunning hijabi’s from their social circle.
Whether a woman wears a hijab or not, the fact is that this is a major female problem. Female bullying has led to many women skipping or dropping out of school, quitting their jobs and even suicide. So I’ll end with this plea for more social awareness of this issue; if you see a woman bullying a fellow female, feel free to step in and tell her to chill.
Peace and sisterly love.
–
Credit: Maheen Siddiqi, a 23-year-old Southern California native and a recent Cal State University, Fullerton graduate wit
h a B.A. in Political Science and a minor in Human Communication Studies. Her passions are law, politics and social commentary.
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One of the biggest arguments agaisnt the importance of hijab is that it can (most often is?) used to shrink the importance of women who don’t where it. The Hijab should be reserved for a certain type of consicnouse, like monks, nuns, not cultural fashion that also brings in suprieority (no matter how false.)
But I know that this is not about anti-hijab. It is a wonderful symbol and i am proud of my friends who wear it. But at a deeper level we need to talk about how this symbol of devotion, peace (and lets be honest a symbol that was really for keping the sand off of saudi women in sand storms) has now been used to excentuate the mean girl complexes where this custom has been accepted.
oh and I would like to compliment you oin a great artical. I hope there we will get the pleasure of reading more articles from you.
I don’t think that argument carries any weight due to the overwhelming examples of the protection that hijab affords to the women who wear it. I dont think its so much about the importance of hijab as it is about the importance of the women who choose to embrace it. As for the bit about the sandstorms, I’m sure it came in handy for their hair but probably did absolutely nothing for their eyes which is what I would like to protect when there is dust flying around me at 100 mph so I dont think that part is necessarily true.
If one considers that wearing a hijab makes another “superior” then they should wear it too, but I think I speak for all of us who do wear it, wearing hijab is one of the most humbling experiences and i dont think anyone can really comment on what it is until they have tried wearing one day in and day out.
I’ll see if I can get an article on the origins of hijab that shows how many different religions from all over the world embrace it as a sign of respect for women. Please stay tuned for future BTV segments.
You’re defending the hijab? You must be unaware of what it actually represents:
“the Messenger of Allah . . . would say: ‘Fight in the name of Allah and in the way of Allah. Fight against those who disbelieve in Allah. Make a holy war. . . . When you meet your enemies who are polytheists, invite them to three courses of action. . . . Invite them to (accept) Islam; if they respond to you, accept it from them and desist from fighting against them. . . . If they refuse to accept Islam, demand from them the Jizya. If they agree to pay, accept it from them and hold off your hands. If they refuse to pay the tax, seek Allah’s help and fight them . . .’” (Muslim Book 19, Number 4294).
“fight and slay the Pagans wherever ye find them, and seize them, beleaguer them, and lie in wait for them in every stratagem (of war) . . . ” (Qur’an 9:5).
“Fight those who believe not in Allah nor the Last Day, nor hold that forbidden which hath been forbidden by Allah and His Messenger, nor acknowledge the religion of Truth, (even if they are) of the People of the Book, until they pay the Jizya with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued” (Qur’an 9:29).
“Allah’s Apostle said: ‘I have been ordered (by Allah) to fight against the people until they testify that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that Muhammad is Allah’s Apostle . . . ‘” (Bukhari Volume 1, Book 2, Number 24).
“It is not for any prophet to have captives until he hath made slaughter in the land. Ye desire the lure of this world and Allah desireth (for you) the Hereafter, and Allah is Mighty, Wise” (Qur’an 8:67).
Now everyone knows that I am by far a secular, liberal Muslim. I do not believe the Hijab as a head piece is mandatory by God. and I believe in speaking honestly about what we disagree with and agree with in a religion. But these were cheap shots. isolated verses taken from the Quran when they could have just been as arbitrarily been taken from the Torah, or the Bible or Hindu scriptures.
I would like to get back to what Maheen was talking about. Her Hijab is not the subject. The Hijab is on her head it is not the reflection of her soul. To send her anger for it is not a type of prejudice that effects the world to a better place.
The article is about being kind, open and nice. its something we should all keep in our minds.
(Because of its length, this comment was edited to show only the location of the Suras instead of whole passages)
Mr. Appel,
I disagree . . . kindly, openly, and nicely.
I quoted the words of Muhammad and his allah, yet you call them “cheap shots,” “anger,” and “prejudice.” What does that say about what you believe about those passages?
I was not attacking the author; the fact that my comment was allowed here speaks to her respect for freedom of speech and her generosity. I am attempting to alert all people of good will to the Source and Sustenance of fourteen centuries of suffering and death for billions of non-Muslims and Muslim women, children, and apostates.
With regard to the hijab, I realize that some Muslim women choose to wear it for their own reasons. That does not change the fact that since Muhammad practiced covering his property (wives, concubines, slaves), and Allah calls him “a beautiful pattern of conduct for those who want to please” him, the hijab/niqab/abaya are mandatory for the devout:
See:
(Qur’an 24:31).
(Bukhari Volume 6, Book 60, Number 282).
(Bukhari Volume 1, Book 8, Number 368).
[Explanatory note: Shaikh Ibn Uthaimin in tafseer of this hadith explains: "This hadith makes it clear that the Islamic dress is concealing of the entire body as explained in this hadith. Only with the complete cover including the face and hands can a woman not be recognized. This was the understanding and practice of the Sahaba and they were the best of group, the noblest in the sight of Allah . . . with the most complete Imaan and noblest of characters. so if the practice of the women of the sahaba was to wear the complete veil then how can we deviate from their path?"]
(Bukhari Volume 1, Book 4, Number 148).
On a related note, I would ask you to produce from any other major religion’s sacred texts open-ended, universal commands to enslave or slaughter all who refuse the “invitation” to conversion. This is unique to Islam.
On the other hand, Jesus taught and practiced, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” and, “Love your enemies.”
Muhammad butchered those who resisted him. Christ died for the sins of all people, including Muslims.
There is no moral equivalence between the two.
Regards,
Amillennialist
Amillennialist, I respect your freedom to speak what you will, but that freedom does not protect you from looking ignorant when you quote sacred text out of context.
I encourage you to educate yourself on the sacred tradition of hijab and follow it through its heritage in all of the Abrahamic faiths, including Christianity.
Christianity too has quite a violent past but one should not blame the religion for the work of the ignorant. I do not attribute the savage crusades to the peaceful Christian friends that I have, and likewise, you should not attribute the evil works of some Muslims to the beautiful faith of Islam and other Muslims.
If you go so far as to denigrate the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, or any Prophet for that matter, including Jesus peace be upon him, then you are without help.
Your romantic notions of history are all wrong, sir. Just look at Spain. Muslims, Christians, Jews, and agnostics/atheists all lived peacefully under the Muslim rule of Spain for hundreds upon hundreds of years; however, the moment Christians overthrew the Muslims, they slaughtered every Muslim man, woman, elderly and child.
Do a little more reading with the aid of understanding of what you read in a historical context, and you will find a lot of your false notions answered. May Allah open your heart to the truth, Ameen.